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Northeast Bible Church
19185 FM 2252
Garden Ridge, TX 78266
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March 2009 |
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Many Christians think (or fear) that if they question fundamentals of the faith, they're "flawed" as believers. But as the Bible shows, the people of God have always included the doubtful. Sarah laughed, Peter started sinking, and Thomas insisted on seeing and touching the risen Christ.
When we have doubts about something, we examine its truthfulness, we weigh and evaluate it, and we consider how much of ourselves we wish to invest in it. In other words, if we're ever going to truly own our beliefs, we must critically examine them first.
As Frederick Buechner wrote, "Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving." One of the greatest concepts you can convey to your teenagers is how to deal positively with doubts. "Positive doubting" isn't so much the opposite of faith as it is an element of faith, according to theologian Paul Tillich. Professor Dean Hardy, analyzing statistics in the "Pulse" section below, wrote, "When the doubts get ignored, it could eventually result in serious skepticism of one's worldview and personal faith."
In the book The Dangers of Growing Up in a Christian Home (Thomas Nelson), psychologist Donald Sloat writes, "Each of us is different and has to come to grips with his own faith and make it real through personal experience." For that to happen, he notes, teenagers need "supportive environments that provide freedom for struggle so that their faith suits their unique personalities." Use the information in this issue of "The Parent Link" to help you provide an environment that makes it safe for your teenagers to doubt.
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Here are some avenues for nurturing healthy doubting in your teenagers:
1. A "safe" family--Foster attitudes that say it's okay to question and doubt. That way, kids will feel free to think critically and explore honestly.
2. A challenging youth group--Help your teenagers find a youth group or Bible study that encourages them to evaluate and internalize biblical truths.
3. Experiential learning--Truth comes alive when teenagers experience it rather than just hear it. For example, have kids play the role of a skeptic or an unbeliever. When kids must think like someone else, they raise questions that will stimulate growth.
4. Media opportunities--Watch for movie clips and listen for song lyrics that center around doubt or questioning. Then discuss them with your teenagers.
5. Share your personal doubts--Don't act as though you've "got it all together." If your kids are going to grow through positive doubting, they need you to be an example.
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Recent studies show that as kids grow, their doubts don't fade away. Instead, they multiply.
· Among teenagers, 80% say they have "very few" to "no" doubts at all, while 19% say they have "some" or "many" doubts. (Soul Searching, Dr. Christian Smith)
· Among college freshmen, 42% say they're secure in their religious beliefs. (UCLA's Higher Education Research Institute)
· Among college juniors, 65% say they question their beliefs at least occasionally. (UCLA)
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1. The key to asking great questions is to LISTEN. Silence is golden. Many times I'll walk away from a conversation and say, "I'm an idiot, I talked too much." Listening is the best way to communicate care. Try to refrain from thinking ahead and trying to solve someone's problem with a verbal bandage. Listen for someone's needs. What does their body language tell you? Begin the process of identifying needs even before you start to ask questions.
