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Northeast Bible Church
19185 FM 2252
Garden Ridge, TX 78266
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January 2010 |
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The "generation gap" between teenagers and parents is evident not just in different tastes in music and clothes. Many of today's young people also have different attitudes from their parents about moral issues such as homosexuality and cohabitation. Meanwhile, cursing has become an accepted form of everyday conversation, and pornography is spreading like wildfire, due to new technology.
Jim Burns, author of The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family, says one essential building block is healthy morals and values. "The decisions kids make today will often affect them for the rest of their lives," he writes. "Parents have significant powers of influence—through modeling and teaching—over the morals and values their kids carry into adulthood."
In our "anything goes" society, it isn't enough to just preach your beliefs. To instill lasting Christian values in your kids, you should lead by example, remembering that perfection isn't expected (or possible).
Don't be afraid to bring up controversial topics and ask how your kids feel about them. Instead of quickly shooting down their opinions, listen to their reasoning. Pay attention to what your kids' friends and media choices say about moral issues. Then dig up some tough questions and connect Scripture to real-life moral dilemmas. Most importantly, let kids know you aren't the moral decision-makers; God sets his standards for right and wrong in the Bible. And he promises to bless people who strive to follow his commands out of love for him. Use this issue of "The Parent Link" to help you and your kids tackle tough moral issues.
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Although the loss of a moral compass is a complex issue, youth-culture expert Walt Mueller says the starting point for turning it around is rather simple. He looks in the mirror every morning and asks himself:
* Do you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength?
* Do you love your neighbor as yourself?
* Are you modeling those priorities to the kids who live under this roof?
* Is that model clear and consistent to the point that they know where you stand on matters of right and wrong?
* When they fail, do you show them the same grace your heavenly Father shows you every minute of every day?
* Are you praying for your children?
* Are you involved enough in their lives to know where they are struggling and where they are succeeding morally?
* Do you affirm them, compliment them, and tell them you're proud when they make good choices?
* Are you willing to speak up and lovingly challenge those assumptions and ideas they adopt that are contrary to God's standards for their lives?
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Hot-button issues are dividing many 21st-century families. Here's a snapshot into what is morally okay with today's teenagers:
* Young people say they have the most conflicts with older adults over lifestyle issues, including their views on family.
(Pew Research Center)
* A majority (59%) of 18- to 29-year-olds think gay or lesbian couples should be allowed to legally marry, while support among the older age groups reaches only as high as 40%.
(USA Today/Gallup Poll)
* More than two-thirds (69%) of young people approve of living together before marriage. And almost half (49%) of "churched" kids approve of this arrangement.
(Gallup Poll)
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Many teenagers reflect the morals of the world rather than Scripture. The sad truth is that the lifestyle of a "churched" or "Christian" teenager is far too similar to the lifestyle of an unchurched or non-Christian teenager these days. The line has become so blurred that distinguishing who's who is often hard to do. 
